11 Signs You Live With A Child

11 Signs You Live With A Child
30th October 2019 Nicole Sage

11 signs you live with a child

If it’s not for sticky fingers, pen marks on walls and last nights dinner shoved down the radiator, then you can bet its a 4:30am wake up call when the newborn days are long gone.

You’ll only know these 11 things if you live with children… but we wouldn’t have it any other way, right?!

1.Remember the days when you could take a bag out for the day that was the size of a small envelope with a lipstick, phone and some money in? No, me neither. Your handbag contains more baggage than a Boeing 747. Peppa pig plasters, check. Calpol sachets, check. 2 changes of underwear, and those aren’t even for the children, check. Building blocks covered in this mornings breakfast, check. And we go on…

2. Everything in your home used to be pristine. Decorating? You gave up on that long ago, the living room walls now resemble something from art attack. Note to self: don’t introduce future children to pens, pencils, biros or any stationery for that matter.

3. You get excited when an episode of Peppa Pig comes on that you haven’t seen before. If you know, you know.

4. You start speaking to your partner in third person to your children. ‘It’s Daddy’s turn to take the rubbish out today’. ‘Daddy will answer that question better than me.’

5. Going to the toilet is your only 30 second bit of peace from the children. Or is it? ‘Mummmmyyyyy’.

6. You can never buy the right amount of something at the supermarket. Either everyone suddenly loves grapes, or fruit flies are congregating around rotting bananas. Anyone for banana bread?

7. Getting a good nights sleep is your idea of the perfect date night without the children. Oh, how times have changed.

8. Your favourite food since becoming a parent is anything that someone else cooks lol. There’s nothing more taxing than trying to cook 4 different meals because everyone is fussy, partnered with trying to concoct some different dish you can cook each night. Adulting.is.exhausting.

9. Remember when Sunday was called the day of rest? You’ve got to be joking, right? Day of the laundry, housework and doing everything that you didn’t do the day before. Weekends don’t exist as a parent.

10. Having children is like continuously cleaning up after a party that you didn’t have. You’ve resided to the fact that you might as well just live in that post party chaos, who even needs a clean house?

11. You realise that motherhood is no one noticing what you do until you don’t do it, but we appreciate you mamas and everything that you do!

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